these are the insider tips, the dirty little secrets of the copy store industry (ha. 'industry'. that makes it sound important).1. Know what you want before you come. If you ask me my opinion about what you should do, I will either just agree with what you already said, or tell you "I don't know".
2. Don't make vague hand motions of "about the size" you want something. Give it to me in inches or percentages. I don't work in arm lengths and gestures.
3. If you are nice/patient, I might just end up giving you an unofficial 'Nice Customer' discount.
4. On the other hand, if you are mean/rude/impatient, i will price strictly and unforgivingly straight from the price sheet.
5. Don't try and tell me this place and that place has 2 cent copies: A) nowhere on earth will you find 2 cent copies, and B) if they do have them, what are you doing here?
6. We get pretty good at guessing what type of customer you will be before you even enter the store. What type of car you drive, what you look like, how many kids you have, and facial expressions are dead giveaways as to what we will be dealing with. not that you customers care, it's just fun for us.
7. Don't complain to me about how expensive you think something is, complain to my boss. Chances are i agree with you, and if there were anything i could do about it, i would do it. but i can't.
8. Usually the fastest way to get your job done is to wait in store until i finish it. i will feel under the gun, but not necessarily to the point of being stressed out, to get it done, so i won't waste time.
9. However, if there are 5 other customers in the store, be courteous and leave the job to be picked up later. that way i can get smaller jobs done first, which usually makes everything faster for everyone. and i won't be mad at you.
10. I would rather give you 3 or 4 copies for free than accept your twenty dollar bill and empty the register of all the small bills, but since i can't do that: if you give me a twenty dollar bill for something under a dollar, i will be mad at you.
11. the best customer is the customer we don't remember. if you want to be remembered, be picky, loud, and obnoxious, and expect us to do things on ridiculously short timetables. you will be famous among us employees in no time.
12. Go cheap. don't pay for expensive paper or color copies when it is just a basic flyer for church, neighborhood get-together, food drive reminders, etc. You and i both know they get tossed in the garbage after a day anyway. black and white copies work fine.
13. while it is super noble of you to try to fix a jam in the self-serve copy machine yourself, don't. just tell me and i will come fix it because you will probably make it worse, sorry.
14. forget social security numbers and credit cards numbers. We can tell a lot more about you from the family photos you give us to copy than from bills and receipts. we are not totally oblivious as to what we are copying, like you think we are. scary, huh? creepy, huh?
15. because we use the honor system for self service copies, you could probably rob us blind by lying about how many you made. but how could you live with yourself stealing 9 cent copies from a small-town copy store, you petty no-good thief? that's like telling kids santa isn't real. jesus is watching.
-seth
