just my observation on what is cluttering my feed these days! ha ha not that i'm saying any one of the following categories below is bad (i fall into many of them myself a lot), just observing. we could all do to take facebook a little less seriously, no?.....
THE EMOTICON-OMIST - after you get past all the cute symbols and smilies and frownies, there may actually be something there. "Seth Merrill~~~~;););););) best night ever!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D~~~
THE LINKER - no status is complete without a super long hyperlink or video. "Seth Merrill funniest thing i've seen all day! check it out. www.video.com/irirnlslk539
THE QUOTER - may be inspirational, may be witty, may be wise. you never know. "Seth Merrill 'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."
THE LYRICIST - song lyrics that mean usually nothing to anyone but the updater. "Seth Merrill p p p p poker face p p p poker face. can't read minds, can't read minds."
THE NEWS ANCHOR - breaking news straight from the tv to facebook updates! if it's epic enough (michael jackson, swine flu) you become.....
THE BANDWAGONER - "Seth Merrill ...OMG. Michael Jackson RIP. the music lives on."
THE OBSERVER - observation on something that has happened during the day, often sarcastic. "Seth Merrill funny how the lady in front of me at the grocery store checkout had no money even after she checked her purse three times. i didn't mind standing there for half an hour."
THE ONE WORD-ER - ...short and to the point. "Seth Merrill pizza."
THE VAGUE - ....short and not to the point... "Seth Merrill...wow......just wow......"
THE VAGUE AND LENGTHY - telling your whole life story without ever using a proper noun. truly an art. "Seth Merrill doesn't know why he acts this way. I'm done, i'm just done with the whole thing. i can't stand feeling this way about that person anymore. What they've done...i never thought that would happen. I think the thing is over, and then somethng happens to someone and everything is back to the way it was before it happened..." well you get the idea
THE VAGUE AND HEARTBROKEN - sharing every detail of your personal life without really saying anything at all. "Seth Merrill misses her, so much...." or "Seth merrill...why do these sort of things always happen to me?"
THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST - the happiness sure rubs off:). "Seth Merrill had the best day ever!!! oh i don't want this week to end!!!"
THE COMPLAINER - ooooo the negativity rubs off worse. "Seth Merrill has the suckiest life. wow the only thing that could make my day better is if i pounded myself in the head with a medium sized rock."
THE CAP LOCKER/ WORD EXTENDER - similar to the emoticonomist. you find it's not really as long a read as you anticipated. "Seth Merrill WOOOOOAHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
THE COUNTDOWN - hm. "Seth Merrill ...3 days left till college!"
THE VAGUE COUNTDOWN - "Seth Merrill.....can't wait for 5 days from now!"
THE INSIDE JOKE-STER - are we supposed to understand? no. "Seth Merrill the llama isn't hungry anymore:) hahaha! oh man!"
THE BORED - apparently telling everyone on facebook that you have nothing to do qualifies as something to do. "Seth Merrill has nothing to do...."
THE CONSTANT UPDATERS/ FACEBOOK OBSESSED - you know the people. excited by the day's normal activity. Again. and again. and again. "Seth Merrill totally just got done chopping broccoli for dinner tonight." "Seth Merrill totally just got done driving home from Centerville to go to my aunts house." "Seth Merrill okay i'm home now. i think i want some ice cream. what do you guys think: ice cream or smoothie? mmm they both sound good."
THE MATHEMATICIAN - one fun thing + one fun thing + one food item = one really really fun event. "Seth Merrill john burning his hand in the fire + having to run away from that bear + s'mores = best campout ever!!!!"
THE FRUSTRATED PARENT (submitted by Colton Packard) - "Seth Merrill anyone want to borrow three children to tear up their house for the night?" No. no one does.
THE LONELY AND DESPERATE (submitted by Adam Jones) - i could call a friend to hang out. or i could ask all 284 of my friends on facebook, one of them is bound to want to do something. "Seth Merrill okay i have an extra ticket to the fair, and i don't know why but my girlfriend doesn't want to come. Who is free from 3-8:30 today? Also i'm thinking of throwing a party tomorrow, if i can get 8 people to come."
THE SARCASMASTER/ DRY HUMOR (submitted by Clark Nielson) - no one understands your humor, so everyone takes you seriously and you come off like an insensitive jerk. "Seth Merrill bad news - michael jackson died. but just look on the bright side - michael jackson died."
and the ultimate facebook conundrum: is saying you have nothing to say qualify as saying something??? "Seth Merrill has nothing to put in my status update."
-seth macbeth
